Breakaway.

How old am i ? Haven't even turned 14.
Isn't that like still so very the young ? Obviously, yes.
And aren't kids supposed to be cheerful ?
Then why aren't i  ?
Argh ! Seriously. Why is it that parents ( mother ) love oh so much to restrict to this and that.
Why is it that they have brains that seems to be dead ? They can do whatever fuck ass they want.
They can do anything they'd like. Decide everything on their own. Meet anyone at anytime, anywhere, they like.
We ? Have to even open our freakin' mouths to ask for the damn permission to leave the house.
Yet ? after asking ? what do we get ? Scolding and nagging. After that ? No. No going out.
hah (!) What is this ? Having siblings. That are younger than you. Is like seriously ... Hell.
What do you get from taking care of them on your parents' behalf ?
Nothing but scoldings, blame pushed on us, everything our fault.
One call , we're in deep shit. One complain, be it true or fake, they're always right.
We're always wrong.

Having known that th younger one is useless, you pile everything on me. ,
You think i;'m rude, i'm a bitch, i;m shameless.
Yeaa, fine fine. I am. You happy ?
You want the grades, to show off. But, me ? I get nothing.
Not even words of encouragements.
Its okay. I forget about it. And let go.

Now ? You go for majong, can.
I go out study, cannot.
She called you to complain, and i tried to reason things out.
You tell me to spend time with her .
okay. fine,. i did as told.
She calls again. And you scream at me , not her.
You said, " you both keep quarrelling, i am sick and tired of it. I want to throw you guys to the rubbish dump. "
Lol. I don't need you to lift a finger on me.
I don't even need you.
I am gonna walk out myself. You just wait.

Minutes later, you text me.
" i lost all the money. You happy now. "

Excuse me. Who was the one who wanted to gamble, in th first place ?
Who was the one calling you, bugging you ?
Who were you pointing fingers at , just because you're not in th mood ?
Everything's my fault.
Huh. Trying to say i bring you bad luck.
Got guts say it straight at me. Don't send text-s. Whats the use.
You wanna throw us to the rubbish dump.
Hello. Open your eyes and see who;s supposed to be thrown .

I seriously have no fucking idea how am i gonna survive this family.
I don't want to see us really fall apart. I'm trying to amend. But whats wrong ?
Its wrong because people like you, treat your own daughter , (perhaps not even ) , like a slave.
Faults, blames, on me. Credits, reputation , on you and her.

Just what do you want from me ?
Grades ? Its not easy./
Even if it is, why should i bother ?
Its my choice. Why does it seem like i'm struggling for you ?

My studies. My friends. My decisions. My attitude. My character. My problems. My passion. My likes.

Do you know a single bit of any of it ? Apparently, no you don't.
I tried to treat you like a friend. I want to share my moments with you.
But yet ? You shoo me away.

I wanna go for my passion, you ask so much.
Like i'm a criminal and you're the officer.
You make me so damn embarrassed to have such a mother.

I wanna study.
You say i'm giving excuses.

My attitude and character.
Why on earth would i have to change, just to please you ?
I don't see a reason why. And its not even worth it.
But still, i tried.

You intrude my privacy.
And treat it as if you're no fault.
You read it, and blame me.
Saying i'm too much.
For having used th harsh words upon you.
Did i say it right into your face ? No.
Why ? I respect you still.
But was it worth ? No.

You think you can choose my friends.
You look at them with what you're seeing. Not what you know about them.
 You don't see me in your eyes. Only when i'm needed.

Fine. Its okay.
This is life. The way it is.
I'm fated to be produced by you. I can't escape that.
But one thing for sure, i hate you.

Cherish the people around you.

Forget about pleasing anyone.

If you know its not worth it.

Don't be a fool.

Open your freaking eyes to see.

Whats worth the while and whats not.

I am seriously disappointed and pissed off at you.

I have no idea how else am i to face you.

I hate the bell ring after school. Because it simply means i'll have to go home.

Which i don't want.

I really have no idea, why are you treating me this way.

I mean, if you really dislike me, you wanna be biased.

I rather you tell me to leave, than t show it to me.

I don't see why you deserved to be respected.

But i still do so. Despite the fact that you're just making use of me.

When will i ever be free from you ?

I wanna breakaway.

Far far far away from you.

Somewhere i don't have t see you.

Because, i really can't stand th way you're acting.

Your doings tell it all.

That i don't mean anything to you.

I don't want to see your face, and call you 'mummy' again.

I feel disgusted and full of hatred.

I really have no idea how to face you./ any longer ..

I wanna leave.

Stellaaa doesn't want to live any longer.

You are the one who forced me.

I really can't think of what am i gonna do next.

I'd trying not to hurt my self. But do you even bother.