Desperate.

I am desperate for EDUCATION.

I am desperate for MONEY.

I am desperate for DANCE.

I am desperate for FREEDOM.

I am desperate for TIME.

I am desperate for EMOTIONS.

I am desperate for UNDERSTANDING.

I am desperate for TRUE FRIEND.

I am desperate for LUXURY.

I am desperate for A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS.

Am i really that hard a person to understand ?

What's so difficult ?!

We'r'e all humans just a different in genders and sex organs.

-.-

If only there'd be someone. Just one person. Who'd know me inside out.

But i know, its impossible.

Because throughout this 14years of life, it hasn't happened.

Not a single soul I need, has appeared in my life.

Its saddening if this carries on for a whole of a lifetime.

Sigh.

Had a BIG FIGHT with HER on the phone just now.

Because of that slut again.

Sigh.

When is this gonna stop ? Or is it only gonna stop when I leave ?

Perhaps thats gonna  be the only way for me get rid of these.

Its super tiring.

No matter how much I tolerate, nor retaliate.

Which should i do exactly ? I've done almost ALL that i could .

And it seems like, the only thing I can do is, WAIT FOR THE RIGHT TIME TO LEAVE.

Be it leaving as in departing this world, or leaving for goosd and leading the life i deserve.

After all, I have to leave sooner or later.

Look at the state of my condition. How much longer will i live?  Maybe till 50+ like everyone else ? But they're still gonna see this world till 80+ . Me ? Long gone.

Alrights. Nevermind. Lemme put that aside.

I'll take it from there, on my OWN. (Since there's no one i can really trust. )

Why do 'you' have to appear ONLY NOW ?

Not earlier or MAYBE later ?

Gawd. I can't stand this.

You're keeping me awake all night.

You're ruining my emotions and feelings and thoughts.

I-AM-CONFUSED.

You, idiot. You, moron.

Okay. As I'm looking back, I'mstarting to realize how much I actually lost.

Firstly, i've lost a lot od freedom.

Yes, its said to be that i lost it myself.

Then so be it.

I jolly well know the reason.

But fuck, it doesn't mean ALL my freedom. Hello.

YOU do not have the rights to do so.

So what if i freaking came out from YOU ?

Doesn't mean anything if there isn't any love at all .

-.-

Followed by, losing a few years of education.

Well, i mean, i DID recieve education for the past years.

But i didn't appreciate it.

Sigh. And i'm regretting it.

If i carry on like this , i'm never gonna make it out of my miserable life.

So, it proves that all i can do is JIAYOU and buck up.

In EVERYTHING i do.

Be it dance, Be it studies. Be it attitde. Be it thinking.

Be it whatever. I just have to get ahead.

--------------------------------------------------------

Had practice twice in a row today.
First was normal dp, from 10-12
Freaking early , can.
I still wanna sleep lorh.
Sigh.
Heavy eye bags naoz ! ): Ugleeeeeeee... .

Then followed by 'Baby' practice.
(:

Ended at 3+ . Wanted to head t hub . But went home instead.
Weather super hawt.
Like in sauna. Seriously. ):
Stupid zy. Pangseh me again.
Anyway. On the way home, saw schoni.
He was like, 'huh. today got practice arh ? When's the next practice arh ? ''
HAhas. Then i was like complaining that he din't on his phone last night.
Glad that at least he's interested. (:

My poor partner has t get his clothes t match mine, again. Hahahas. :p
But neverminds. Its to look good on the WHOLE. (:

Intended to take a nap. But din't in the end.
Neverminds.
Gonna go to bed soon anyway.

Hopefully i won't get puffy eyes tomorrow morning.
Good thing there isn't any practice tomorrow. (:

''You leave me breathless. ''